Vacation House Swapping

We recently took the family down to Portland following the Seattle to Portland bike ride. I try to do the ride every year, and in the past we have found a place to stay in downtown Portland. But with two young kids, the need for additional stuff and space makes the one room layout logistically nightmarish. Naps, for instance, still need to happen on vacation. When you're all stuck in one room with a napping one-year-old, and a three-year-old who doesn't nap (or listen)... let's just say that nobody gets the rest they require. When the kids are expected to sleep in the evening, we would just sit there quietly like the lame kids at a slumber party who wished everyone else would just shut up and go to sleep.

This year, we took a new approach. My wife asked if I knew anyone who lived in Portland who might want to swap houses with us. I thought for a while, and realized that I did. While I hadn't seen Kelly in 18 years since we graduated from high school, I knew through Facebook that she and her husband also have two children and a nice home. I had been following many of their ambitious home improvement projects that they also tackled on their own, and assessed that we damn near live parallel lives in our respective cities. Now how to breach the 18 year hiatus with such a wild proposal. After a few Facebook emails, we were good to go. Luckily they're both teachers with flexible summer schedules, which was perfect because we wanted to swap houses during the week following the weekend bike ride.

Then reality hit. Having people over for a party is one thing. You do some spot cleaning, and close the doors of the rooms you piled all your crap into. But when someone is going to live in your house, YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE, you feel the need to clean the entire house. This isn't such a bad thing. We soon realized that being able to see out our windows, which hadn't been cleaned in three years, is a good thing. And that the towel hanging over the bathroom window isn't an adequate replacement for blinds. So over three weekends we scrubbed, wiped and dusted the entire house and closed the book on many nagging projects, which was quite refreshing.

Now comes the swap. First off, the Portland house isn't really in Portland. It's not even in Oregon. Turns out, their house is in Camas, Washington. But as luck would have it, Camas is a pretty bitchin' little 'burb about 20 minutes from Portland. Upon entering the house I questioned Kelly's teaching career, as I could see her giving the Pottery Barn photo stylists a run for their money. And I was especially relieved when I saw that their king-size mattress ALSO had the eerie his-and-hers depressions. Their daughters' rooms were preciously decorated, and my son quickly got over the emasculation of sleeping in a girl's room when he discovered the top bunk. The only downside of which was when I had to contort my 6'6" frame into what felt like a set from Gulliver's Travels in order to read him his bedtime stories. The portable crib worked as expected for our daughter. But with her own room, we could still enjoy our evenings watching copious amounts of reality garbage on the TV.

With a full kitchen at the house we were able to eat most meals at home, but ventured out to grab take-out a couple times. We like to dine out, but with jacked vacation schedules, our children would rather speak in whale song than eat anything we put before them at a restaurant. The house's kitchen was stocked with all the staples one would need to cook a reasonable meal. But we still purchased most of our food. When we couldn't finish something, there wasn't the guilt of leaving it in the kitchenette mini-fridge, instead of a tip for the cleaning crew. We were confident that Kelly and her family would all appreciate the rocky road ice cream and beer we left in our wake.

When contemplating your house swap, consider the following:

• Is your home an equitable residence to the place you're looking to swap with?
• Would they have any reason to want to come to your neck of the woods?
  
• Are they going to be offended when you just want to visit their house, and not them (not advised for close family/friends you don't see frequently)?
• Did your cat recently cough up a hair ball, and you're certain she'll be good to go for a few weeks?
• Can you trust them, or are they going to rob you blind?

In all, the house swap was a wonderful experience for us. We figured we saved a good $500 by not having to stay at a hotel. It's also refreshing to know that your house is inhabited while you're gone, and that someone is feeding your cat, dog or attic-child. The biggest bummer is not being able to hang out with the people you're swapping with. On the flip side, you could always drop in and stay with someone you know really well. But to that notion I'll quote Benjamin Franklin: "Fish and guests stink in three days." And in the meantime, your house will be burglarized.