Assolean: Today’s Alternative Fuel Source.

Will a hydrogen-fuel-cell car level a neighborhood in an accident? Are there enough TV shows in an iPhone to keep one entertained while refueling a Nissan Leaf? Is there a way to capture the methane that comes off an infant’s diaper pail to power a car to get more diapers?

I used to bother asking these questions. Hell, I still do (especially the last one). When one considers all the frustrations of owning a car—like paying $4.00/gallon gas, license tabs, insurance, parking, and the pleasure of sitting in traffic—it comes naturally to demand new technologies that give consumers a more fuel efficient and affordable automobile.

But that’s where “most people” and “ye who are Kittellian” differ. The auto industry owes you nothing. As long as people continue to feel afraid, lazy, picky, irrational and emasculated, car makers are going to continue to monger fear, convenience, options, luxury, and horsepower-envy (not to mention those rubber testicles that hang off the bumper). And to most consumers, words like “hybrid” and “bio-fuel” are worth more in status than they equate to efficiency. For instance, the 2011 Toyota Highlander standard gas model gets 18 city/24 hwy miles-per-gallon, while the hybrid model gets 28 city/28 hwy. For city drivers of their hybrid model, that’s a nice improvement, but in the bigger picture of efficiency, you’re merely upgrading the MPG from “abysmal” to “slightly-better-than-crappy.”

For many of us, driving a car is completely unavoidable. For those with physical disabilities, children, businesses requiring deliveries or the need to haul gear, cars/trucks are a necessity. For the rest of us that use the car to drive solo to work, or run shorter errands, there are alternatives.

Three years ago I vowed to ride my bike to work every single day during the month of April (rain or shine). I was disgusted with how much weight I had gained over the winter months, I was borderline depressed from the weather, I was sick of traffic and I was even more frustrated with sitting in traffic on public transportation (especially when they set the heater to “convalescent home”). By the end of the month, I had logged over 500 miles on the bike, and it really wasn’t that difficult at all. I started to love seeing horrendous traffic, because it no longer affected me. My 8 mile commute soon became the highlight of my day. I gave my commute an “options package.”

I now log over 5000 miles a year on my bike(s). The benefits (some of which are Kittellian) include:

• Not having to pay for gas
• Not paying a gym fee
• Not taking extra time out of my day to go to the gym
• Being relatively stress free
• Looking great (once I change out of my bike clothes)
• Sleeping soundly
• Consistent point-to-point commute times
• Actually making a difference instead of waiting for someone to invent one
• Not worrying about eating a donut (or four)


Some of you might require a little extra convincing. And for those of you who do the Seattle/Eastside commute, I can’t wait till tolls are collected to cross the 520 bridge. I haven’t been more excited about something in a long time. When it costs $7.00 round trip to commute to work (plus the price of gas), and your free alternate commute time on I-90 doubles, well, don’t forget, you do have options.

Other excuses you might have to not ride a bike to work, and my counter-arguments:

“I don’t have a shower at work.” Neither do I. I shower at home, ride to work, and dry off at my desk before changing. I don’t stink (to my knowledge).

“I have to dress nice for work.” Keep nice shoes at work because they’re heavy and bulky. The rest of your clothes can be wrinkle-free (I love Nordstrom Smart Care) and folded nicely in a messenger bag or panniers (saddle bags for bikes).

“I live too far away from work to ride.” The distance feels that much smaller, the longer you accomplish the ride. You’ll be shocked at how quickly you can get places on a bike.

“I don’t have a bike.” Buy one with all the money you’ll save by not driving.

Another point I would like to make about automobiles: No matter how efficient the fuel, 99% of that energy goes into moving the vehicle, and only 1% goes to transporting the driver. Whereas, a cyclist who is 200lbs riding a 20 pound bike takes advantage of 90% of the energy output to get them around town. Now that’s Kittellian.

Now take that energy you’ve generated complaining about gas prices, bridge tolls, the Bush/Obama/Whomever administration, gridlock, or not having a personal jet-pack by now, and burn it on a bike commute.